


Think of me

by Mauness



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Fangirls, Getting Together, Greece, Ireland, M/M, Minor cursing in chapter 2, Romantic Tension, discovering feelings, europe tour, innuendos in chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 08:07:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mauness/pseuds/Mauness
Summary: Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac and Feuilly are in a rock band. After releasing their first full album, they go on a sold out Europe tour.Which Courfeyrac thinks to be totally awesome. If only he didn’t realize thát about his best friend. Not now.For the Les Amis holidays exchange.Title is based on a Phantom of the Opera song. No real reason for that, other than that I am horrible with coming up with titles and Phantom songs are in my head right now.





	1. First leg of the tour

**Author's Note:**

  * For [infinite_mirrors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinite_mirrors/gifts).



> English is not my mother tongue, so language mistakes can occur.
> 
> To Infinite-mirrors: I hope being guards also counts as stage crew by the way, this job just seemed most fitting for them in my head. Also, hopefully you like this short fic! Happy holidays (:

Ever since the unexpected jam session at Ferre’s place, Enjolras, Ferre and I knew we had to do something with music together. We never expected to become this successful though. If you told me, after finding Feuilly as drummer within our university-association, that we would be doing a tour through all of Europe I would have never believed you.  
Yet here we are, playing songs from our first album thorough Europe. A dream coming true. It feels so incredible that we can do this and that we apparently have something people can relate to or at least enjoy.  
The first weeks of the tour have been a blast. It is so wicked and awesome already and I can barely say anything negative about these weeks. Maybe it would have been expected we started in Paris, considering we are from France. However, we started in Ireland. Which I did not have any problem with, why would I, but if it wasn’t for the days before our first performance then there wouldn’t have been anything negative at all so far. It is not even that it was horrible, I honestly quite like Ireland. It is just-

_It was not that Ferre demanded it from any of us, but since he has roots in Ireland we all agreed to start there. We scheduled two days of freedom before the real kick-off. Just for some fun and for a tour around Dublin by Ferre. Considering he knows this city. This sightseeing happened on our first day in Dublin. It was nice. Some fans spotted us and told twitter where we were, but luckily most fans didn’t disrespect our freedom and didn’t bother us._  
_The second day we went to a part of Ferre’s family. That’s where things went wrong. At least in my head. Ferre’s cousins were very nice and it was a lovely dinner. I had nothing to complain about them or the food. It is only that one cousin asked if Ferre was dating any of us or anyone in general. Ferre answered with a no ofcourse, which I could tell you as well. Somehow my mind started to wonder at that moment though: what if?_  
What if he and I would date? Would much change? No, I didn’t think so. Not apart from the intimacy.  
_Later at dinner our eyes crossed and suddenly I started to feel something. I couldn’t immediately place it. But I kept feeling it, also when we went back to our hotel rooms and the day after too. I couldn’t get rid of this off feeling. Not till we played my favorite song during the soundcheck. The feeling still was there, but something clicked in my head at that moment. Somehow… I started to have a crush on Ferre. During a tour, of all moments for that to happen. We share a room together, this will never end well. Needless to say, I was a bit distracted during our first performance. Though I could mask it well by the excitement for performing. So during the performance I managed it relatively well…_

I had and have to shake this off and ignore it. I don’t want to ruin our friendship or the band. Definitely not during our Europe tour.  
Ignoring the feelings just turns out to be more difficult than I had imagined. My mind can’t think clear ever since that moment in Dublin. Even Enjolras asked me yesterday how I was doing. So my change is too noticeable, great.  
Sadly, I just can’t really keep my emotions at bay. Even worse, lately I start feeling weak inside whenever Ferre is nearby. No matter what he is doing. It is horrible and I can’t help it. No matter how hard I try.


	2. Last leg of the tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has some ER and Feuilly/Bahorel included, which kinda got away with me. $:

Now we are on the bus to the concert hall in Athens. The start of the last wing of our tour. Man, I will miss it. I can better enjoy it while it last. In general I am doing that,. There have been so many nice moments. Unforunately, the crush I developed on my best friend has not decreased yet. Rather the opposite, and the rumours on social media are not helping with it at all. The fans have already been shipping Ferre and me together before this tour. Which -ironically- has been getting worse since this tour started. As band, we usually don’t talk about it to the press and laugh it off when the question does pop up. This laughing it off is slowly starting to hurt me though. Because of the stupid crush I'm having.

We walk inside of the concert hall and try to find our way to stage, when Enjolras bumps into someone. A guy with unruly curls. ‘Why can’t you look to where you’re going?’ the guy asks Enjolras irritated.  
‘I didn’t mean to bump into you.‘ Enjolras says.  
‘Whatever. I don’t have time for shit like this. I am already late. Bahorel is going to murder me.’  
‘Then why aren’t you running of already?’ Feuilly asks.  
‘Because Apollo here rudely stopped me.’  
‘I was just looking at where we needed to go!’  
‘Sure, Apollo. Sure.’  
‘And my name isn’t Apollo.’  
‘Oh, you could have fooled me. My bad. Anyways, I am of to the main stage. So Apollo and crew, I hope you find your way here.’  
‘Wait,’ Feuilly says. ‘We need to go there too. Can you show us the way?’  
Enjolras and the guy look at each other for a while. Enjolras seems not just irritated, but also intrigued by the guy. ‘Feel free to follow me,' the guy says. 'But if they kick you out, you can’t blame me.’  
I laugh. He clearly doesn't recognize us. He looks to me. ‘What?’  
‘We are "Les Amis".’ I answer.  
‘Wait.. Seriously?’  
I nod. ‘Ah lovely, follow me then.’  
Enjolras is still sending the guy glares when we follow the guy. I shake my head, especially since it is clear to me that he doesn't completely mind this and he is not only annoyed. i look at Ferre for a minute. We both think the same thing. Then I realize something. At least it won’t break the band if Enjolras goes for it. That realization makes me stay quiet on the way to the main stage.

We immediately hear another guy shout when we enter the room. “R! Where the fuck were you fifteen minutes ago? How can we trust you as main guard backstage if you can’t even turn up on fucking time for once in your life!’  
‘It has been going well so far, hasn’t it?’ the guy - R apparently - answers.  
‘You can’t keep doing this!’  
‘This time it wasn’t even me.’  
‘Sure.’  
‘Seriously, Apollo here ran into me on my way here.’  
‘It is Enjolras,' Enjolras states. 'Not Apollo!’  
‘Same difference.’ R grins.  
‘Even better R. Don’t make the performers mad at you, man.’  
‘Oh but Apollo looks even more like Apollo when he is mad. I can't deprive myself of that.’  
‘You're impossible. Sorry for R.’ says the other guy.p  
He must probably be named Bahorel, I remember somehow.  
‘It is fine,’ says Feulliy immediately. ‘I can laugh with it at least.’  
I look mildly surprised at him and see his face then. Oh no. Not another one… ‘Oh yeah, you can?’ Bahorel asks.  
Feuilly nods. ‘Only because it is not you who he keeps on coming late to.’  
That comment makes Feuilly smile. ‘Coming how?’ he says with a wink  
Bahorel sighs, with an unreadable expression on his face. ‘Not in that way, though I can stop your laughs about this later if you want?’  
Are they absolutely serious with this? To make it worse, Feuilly agrees. ‘After the concert, sure.’  
Lovely how Feuilly and Enjolras now both have a change at something, with as only risk that they get rejected later and then can go on with life or write a song about it. For me there would be wya more at risk. That is why I can't tell Ferre, though it is bursting inside of me too. I won't be able to hold it in forever. ‘After the concert you guys can do whatever you guys want, Feuilly and Enjolras, but we have a soundcheck to attend.’ reminds Ferre Feuiily and Enjolras, after Feuilly's comment.  
Enjolras was looking at R again. R is a weird name by the way, though I can’t really say anything with Courfeyrac of all names. 

Miraculously the soundcheck went alright. The show starts of alright too. The only thing is that I can feel R’s look to Enjolras from backstage, and Enjolras looking back if he can permit it. At least Feuilly’s glances towards Bahorel are more subtle. Though I do can see the glances our drummer is giving a particular spot of the audience. Where Bahorel stands, who is guarding just before the stage.  
Enjolras looks to R again. I continue playing of course, but I share a look with Ferre. Again we seem to think the same about this. It is then that I realize that, how bad it might end, I really can’t hold it in much longer anymore. How can someone expect me to hold secrets so long, especially from my closest friends? Everyone who knows me, knows that I am the worst with that. If I am enthusiastic or full of something, i just have to share it. It is already a wonder that I haven't spoiled a thing yet, so I have to figure something out with this. Before I explode and broadcast this to the world.

After the concert, Bahorel is already waiting outside for Feuilly. R is there too. ‘Glad you try to keep your promise,’ Feuilly laughs.  
‘Oh I will keep it, Just you wait.’  
‘Get a room.’  
‘Just like you with your “Apollo”, sure R.’ Bahorel grins, after which he leaves with Feuilly.  
Enjolras and R are looking at each other. ‘Alright. I am out. Please don’t kill one another out of anger please.’ I say focused on Enjolras and R.  
Ferre joins me back to the hotel. I am thinking about saying it now, but something stops me. Maybe that is the fear talking to me, I don't know. Damn feelings.


	3. Last performance

I’ve been postponing telling Ferre, though I did create a plan in my head.

Way too soon it already is the last performance. Back in France. Which we have been to for the Ireland-Uk-Germany-the Netherlands-France leg already. It is a nice place to end though, considering we live here. After that first leg we went to Scandinavia and the East part of Europe, before we did our last tour through Greece-Italy-Portugal-Spain- France. I feel sad about it being the last show tonight and it is nerve wrecking too. Since this also means that today is the day of the plan. I realized that ruining something would be less horrible on the last performance, so I forced myself to stay quiet till now. It is good that the tour ends tonight, because I really can't keep it in anymore. I just hope we can stay friends afterwards, if he doesn't feel the same. Which is not entirely unlikely. Therefore I feel scared. I am not entirely sure anymore if this isn't just as horrible as telling it earlier. I only can't go back now, considering that I already wear a shirt perfect for the plan. The sparkly moth on the t-shirt just tells it all.

No one seems to notice it though, till we start to perform. I can try to ignore or deny it, but the Courferre-screams definitely are louder than usual when I enter the stage. Entirely expected, though it is still not easing my nerves.   
We start of as usual and ignore it as group. Until I unexpectedly take the stage just before my favorite song. “Uusually we just start playing "Wicked for a day" right now, but I have something to add before it.’  
The fans react positive so far. Enjolras, Feuilly and Ferre look slightly surprised, but let me continue without any comments. I look to the audience and not to my friends when I continue talking. ‘I wanted to dedicate this song to someone close to me. Someone I recently started to see in a different light. I doubt I have to give a name here. You know who you are, this one is for you.’  
I don’t really look at Ferre, but i have to look at Feuilly to start the song on time. Feuilly, Enjolras and I start on time. However, Ferre is slightly late with jumping in with the song this time. He undoubtedly knows, though I think the others know too. It is just different for Ferre of course. I really hope this is for the better. I keep my focus during the song, but I also look at Ferre a few times. His look isn't saying anything yet though. He just looks focussed.

Before we can go to the stagedoor, Ferre stops me. ‘Courf..’ he starts.  
I look at him. ‘Yeah, Ferre?’  
‘Do you realize that you practically are wearing our logo today?’  
‘Huh?’  
‘Why the screams were louder this time.’  
‘Oh. Yeah. That. Yes I've realized, both points. Ans I am sorry for being so blunt in this with basically saying it on stage, but this way is-‘  
‘Typically you. I know. That is one of the things I like about you Courf. This way suits you.’  
I don’t follow this anymore. The "like" creates an error in my mind. ‘Wait.. does this mean…?’ I start.  
‘I like you too Courfeyrac,' Ferre confirms. "I realized it during this tour, and I guess you too. The difference is that I would never have the guts as you do. So thanks for that.’  
'It is good that I can't hold things from you then.' I smile.  
Ferre nods. 'Definitely.'


End file.
